yoga on & off the mat

Swami Kripalu said, "Seekers who believe they must practice yoga only in the meditation room are under a great illusion. They must practice yoga in society as well. Practicing yoga in the meditation room is easy because there are no external disturbances. The true yogi is one who can successfully protect his mental steadiness while in society."

These words of Bapaji have been on my mind a lot these last few weeks as I struggle to heed his advice. It has only been 3 months since I left the Kripalu center, but it feels much longer, and my ability to hold close to me Kripalu yoga philosophy and the way of life that I embraced so fully in yoga teacher training has begun to dissipate. Although I am continuing my daily sadhana, going to yoga class, and regularly teaching Kripalu yoga, I notice that my patience and willingness to really practice bhakti (devotional) yoga off the mat and out in the world has been lax.

I haven't exactly been the model of mental steadiness when confronted with the daily chores and petty burdens of what at times feels like a chaotic life. And, of course I see the ridiculousness of somehow experiencing my life as chaotic compared to how most of the rest of the world lives. And yet I struggle.

It's easy to be generous, compassionate, understanding and accepting when I am in the protected world of yoga, whether it's in class, or on my mat. I can meditate, calm myself and feel totally at peace when I am in my own little yoga studio, listening to Krishna Das chant on my ipod. It's a whole lot more challenging to open my heart with love and tolerance when I'm deep in the everyday tensions and stress of life with peace and calm in my heart and belly.

Lately I find myself wishing to be back in the protected cocoon of the Kripalu Center, with nothing to concern me but getting to the next yoga class. At the same time, I understand that finding a balance between living the yogic life while living in the modern world is the real goal. I think this is why we call it yoga practice! I just need to keep practicing living yoga off the mat as well as on it, and do it while keeping my self-talk gentle and forgiving when I am showing up less than my best self.