stay in the day

I usually start my yoga classes with some time for centering and meditation. One of my favorite things to say to my students has to do with bringing their attention to their mind's desire to pull them back into the past, ruminating over things that have already happened, or their mind's urge to yank them forward into the future, worrying over things that might yet happen. I'll mention how difficult it is for many of us to ignore the mind's nudging during yoga practice. Then I offer an alternative: Breathe, and use your breath to stay in the moment. Notice the sensations in your body. Notice what you are feeling. And, when the mind wanders, tugs and interrupts, use breath to come back into your body, into your experience.

Like most elements of yoga, what I practice on the mat, I can practice off the mat too. For the last few days my shoulder and left arm have been hurting again, along with some additional constriction and pain in my upper back. Feeling demoralized, I began to get angry at myself for the accident that led to all this pain. I started going down the path of "if only I hadn't" and "how could I be so stupid". From there it was a quick jump to worrying about what was going to happen next. "What if I tore my rotator cuff?", then "What if I need surgery to repair it?, to "How will I teach?", and then "What if I stop teaching to heal myself and my students don't come back?" Ah, my mind in all it's freaked out glory!

After talking myself down from the ledge of the neurotic window, I took some long, slow, deep breaths and decided to stay in the moment, to stay in the day. I'm doing what I can to care for myself each day, which includes asking others to care for me too. Now, when my mind starts to careen back to the upper stories and window ledges of crazy, I use my breath and my logic to bring it gently back to now.

I'll freely admit it doesn't always work. I have a lot of years behind me perfecting the art of rumination and worry. Learning new ways to deal with pain and uncertainty takes some time and practice, and having friends, family and a good doctor around to comfort and support me goes a long way towards healing. So, today it will be more ice, gentle stretching, arnica, pain medicine, breath, and prayers of loving kindness.