audrey simon's meatloaf

When my women friends are in need of support, and prepared food is on the list of "most helpful", I make Audrey Simon's meatloaf to take over to them.

I've posted about Audrey previously. My oldest and most loyal friend, Audrey passed away nearly 2 years ago, in mid-April. She has been on my mind and in my heart lately, as the year pushes towards the 2nd anniversary.

Over the last year, I've made Audrey's meatloaf, with mashers and peas at least a dozen times. My women friends have complicated lives. For some families, who tend to have more opportunities for support from friends and community than other families, I've made Audrey's meatloaf more than once. Sometimes it is requested specifically.

Let me just clear up one important fact: Audrey Simon's meatloaf recipe makes the best meatloaf in all the land. It's magically delicious. If a sample of Earth's best food was sent to distant solar systems in order to impress and seduce other living creatures, Audrey's meatloaf would be an imperative. Very close in the favorite's running to homemade vanilla cake with caramel frosting (another post, soon), or my husband Jeff's home-cured pancetta (could be a post I suppose), and lobster tails with melted butter (no post necessary).

Earlier today I dropped off a meal of Audrey's meatloaf, mashed potatoes loaded with butter and raw cream, and little green peas that had been frozen in the fall to a dear friend who is recoverying beautifully from a recent surgery. She called a little while ago and left me a message about how much she enjoyed the food. I'll be sure to remind her when I call her back that it's Audrey's meatloaf recipe. And then I'll think again of Audrey, who in addition to giving me full hearted love, appreciation, and acceptance, was generous enough to also give me her meatloaf recipe.

spring is coming

I was browsing through my favorite local photographer, Myra Klarman's blog and found a photo of my husband Jeff and me that I just love, love, love to pieces. The photo represents to me something essential and deeply valuable about our marriage. We are standing near enough to each other to be held in the same photo, but enough apart from each other for us each to have our very own experience of that moment.

It is, to me, a lovely photographic capture of how we move through our life together-- close enough to nourish and sustain us together as a couple, yet separate enough to have our own opportunities to experience life in our own individual ways. I'm feeling especially lucky these days to be married to a man who supports my endeavors, reassures me when I am feeling lost, gives me space to be fully who I am, and believes in my abilities and creativity.

Seeing Myra's photo this morning took me instantly back to a sun warmed, early April day last year at the annual Festifools extravaganza in downtown Ann Arbor where locals make fabulous, inventive, irreverent and sometimes political costumes to parade up and down Main Street for several hours. What a wonderful rite of spring for our community! Check out their website and join in the fun.

diner for a day

Our Diner for a Day fundraiser was a huge success. We served breakfast to over 160 people! The food was amazing, the volunteers worked tirelessly, and everyone had a blast. We are already planning our next event!
Check out more photos by Amanda Edmunds of Growing Hope here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/gardenmuppet

repasts, present & future

I'm pleased and excited to share that Jeff and I are presenting our second major fundraiser through our organization Repasts, Present and Future . Our first event was a little over a year ago and focused support on the local organization Growing Hope, the Ypsilanti based community garden group. This breakfast fundraiser will support local food activities and Michigan filmaker Chris Bedford.

Check out the website for more information and make a reservation to join us for great eats, wonderful company, and a delicious way to support local food and film.

the smallness of gossip

I wish that folks would build affiliation, friendship and connection without gossiping mean or private things about others. Hmmm...I wish I would do that! In principle I dislike gossip. It isn't very yogini-like, and it can really hurt a person's feelings.

Someone I know gossiped about something private and personal to other people who didn't need to know the information. This was after that same someone assured me they weren't going to tell anyone about it, too! Sharing the gossip surprised and hurt some people very close to me, which got me pretty worked up. Man, I had to do some deep yoga breathing, and then telephone several people to gossip about it. Hmmm....

Yes, of course, there are plenty of times when the urge for me to gossip with my girlfriends is very appealing, but then after I do it I don't always feel so good. Kind of like eating a bag of potato chips. I wonder if I could stop gossiping. I think it is only fair if I don't like it in others, I might try stopping it myself. OK. here is my new commitment to avoid gossip. I'll let you know my progress. I guess this post fits into the random musings category of my blog.

Hello Selma-ites!

Just a quick post with a shout out to our neighborhood group called SELMA. We're a west side neighborhood organization of adults and kids that shares tools, resources, food, activites, support, ideas and action to build affiliation and local connections.

Check out our website: http://www.selmaannarbor.org/ for more information and to see what we've got going. If you live in the area, join up!

Shiva the transformer & Death the narrator

Growing up in a household at the close of the 1950s, where The Three Stooges was considered way too violent for us kids to watch, I've never developed much of a thick skin against things that are even a little bit scary, gruesome or anxiety provoking. The books I read back then, the tv shows I watched, and the films we occasionally saw at the movie theater were all bland and comfortable. The scariest it got was when Nancy Drew would get into a jam and Ned would have to come help her.

It was different then than it is now-- our exposure to media, and to real life events elsewhere in the world were limited. We lived in a protective bubble where even difficult feelings were pushed aside and ignored. Consequently, I didn't have any practice at feeling even a little fear, horror or revulsion enough to get used to those feelings. I was easily overwhelmed, and made anxious by even little worries.

Eventually, as I grew up, I avoided things that raised my anxiety for the purpose of entertainment. Some people love the rush of being frightened by a scary movie or book. I'm not one of them! I know I've missed some really amazing films and books because of my tendency to be overly affected by their power, but it wasn't enough to convince me. After I saw Sophie's Choice I was so upset I ended up with a bladder infection. After seeing The Sixth Sense I was too freaked out to get up in the middle of the night to pee for at least 2 weeks. I have often disappointed my husband who wants me to see a movie with him that I know is above my capacity to watch.

Joni Mitchell writes beautifully about this in one of her songs, saying that she is "too porous". I can relate-- it's as if, at times, I don't have an ample enough covering to protect me from feeling the pain and suffering of the world.

When I was at the Kripalu Center for my yoga teacher training we studied some Hindu philosophy, and I began to learn more about the Hindu triad of Brahma the Creator, Vishnu the Maintainer, and Shiva, the Destroyer. Before I studied at Kripalu, I saw Shiva as only representing destruction and death. The end. Nothing after. And, as was my habit, Shiva frightened me and I wanted to avoid thinking or looking at Shiva, or what Shiva might represent. I couldn't see the possibility of something continuing after destruction or death until my reading and studying allowed me to understand that in order to begin again anew, there had to be some ending or destruction.

It happens in cell growth, it happens in the garden as the seasons come and go, it happens in friendships and love affairs and in the birth and death of theories and ideas. By accepting the concept that life and death is a cycle that is universal and all encompassing, I was able to glimpse the beginning understanding of what it means to live in the moment, cherishing every possible beautiful thing, enjoying all that is good, grieving for all that is painful, and knowing those feelings are part of what makes up the world. By practicing staying with the feelings, I am more able to experience the world more fully, and I feel stronger in my ability to cope.

A friend recently gave me a book called The Book Thief to read. It's written by Markus Zusak and it is the story of a vulnerable family during the time of Nazi Germany. In the past, I would have avoided this book like crazy. I wouldn't have wanted to think about the horror of that time and that place. This book is a little different though--the book's narrator is Death. Somehow having Death telling the story and permeating every page of the book allows me to step back somewhat from the story itself, and see it as if from behind a curtain of gauze. And, having been practicing through my yoga sadhana to allow myself to feel more fully, I can breath into my feelings, whatever they may be.